


Moments

by RadioActive



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 04:14:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6455314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioActive/pseuds/RadioActive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jamie would lie in his bed at night and he’d wonder if there was anyone out there wishing for someone like him. Sometimes wondering gave him a flutter of hope, but most times it left his eyes wet and his chest tight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments

Jamie can remember far too many nights spent sick with heartache as a teenager. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d dozed off with tears on his lashes on one hand, or even two. He’d watched helplessly as his friends paired off with pretty girls, gradually beginning to post more cheesy couple photos than silly team photos on Facebook. And it had been fine, at first. But when the group of single guys on his team had dwindled down to a measly four, Jamie had felt the first tinges of jealousy. He had wanted the big moments. He wanted to introduce someone to the team, have them tease him for being whipped. He wanted to wake up from pre-game nap with a “good luck <3” text on his phone. He wanted to kiss someone goodnight on their dimly lit front porch step. He wanted someone to split a milkshake with when he felt like cheating on his diet, and to not feel guilty, because it was just half a milkshake, not a full one. But most of all, he wanted to not be alone. Being alone was the worst thing in the world, especially when everyone around him had someone to call home about. 

Jamie had his fair share of relationships throughout his teen years and into adulthood. None worked out for long, but not for lack of trying. Jamie gave himself fully to his partners. He shared secrets under blankets, ordered their favourite take-out, attended concerts, baseball games, and was introduced to an alarming number of parents. He got his big moments, but it didn’t feel as great as he’d thought it would. No one made him feel especially flustered, or lucky, or safe. He thought to himself, 'it’ll be better when I find someone special'. Jamie would lie in his bed at night and he’d wonder if there was anyone out there wishing for someone like him. Sometimes wondering gave him a flutter of hope, but most times it left his eyes wet and his chest tight. 

And then Jamie met Tyler Seguin face to face, not across the ice, and Jamie felt his cheeks burn when he caught Tyler watching him. That night he went to bed and wished and wished and wished. 

Jamie didn’t believe wishes came true, but he’d never been one to lie down and take what life dished out. So when he introduced Tyler to the team and they teased them for already being so close, Jamie didn’t hide his smile. And when Tyler woke up from his pre-game naps, there was always a text from Jamie waiting, inviting him up for dinner. And when he finally kissed Tyler for the first time, the hallway was dark and quiet and easy. He got his milkshake, too, a full one, because Tyler laughed in his face when he offered to split one. Tyler didn’t share, and he didn’t feel one bit guilty when Tyler laced their fingers together beneath the table. So he got his big moments, with someone that made his stomach flip. But it still didn’t feel right. 

So they fought, and Tyler told him to grow up. He stormed out, shaking with resentment, but unsure of who was actually at fault. So he called his mom, because no matter how old he got, her voice could make any pain hurt a little less. He asked her, "Is this really it? This is what I've been waiting my whole life for?" and she laughed in his ear, "no, baby, that isn't love."

So he went home, and he found Tyler asleep on the couch in Jamie's favourite shirt. And when Jamie felt a familiar rush of fondness, he realized that what he’d thought was love hadn’t been. But coming home to Tyler drooling on his favourite shirt was, just like how love was baking Tyler an awful funfetti cake on his birthday that no one but Tyler enjoyed. Love was waking up in the middle of a thunderstorm to Tyler tugging the sheets over their heads, because he knew Jamie was deathly afraid of lightning. Love was Tyler giving him the last bottle of blue gatorade, even though it was his favourite flavour too. Love was waking up early to brush his teeth, because Tyler hated when he kissed him with morning breath. Love was putting off getting a haircut, just to hear Tyler complain about Jamie’s hair tickling his face while they slept. Love was kissing him under a wide stretch of sky, starry or not. 

So Jamie got his big moments, but he got his little moments too.


End file.
